we do it in the dark with smiles on our faces

my mom objectively thinks im an awful person and i may have realized, after 2 whole years constantly texting someone who doesn't text me back anymore, that that actually might just be harassment and not the twin flame my tarot reader constantly encouraged me to pursue despite getting little to no texts from her. so. yeah. i think i just really snapped out of it hard today. i genuinely think that might have been religious psychosis. i blindly believed, to my core, that me and that girl had connections from a past life and my tarot reader constantly brings her up and motivates me to message her, and i believe(d?) my reader to my Core. ive never even considered that what i did was harassment. the girl never blocked me or told me to stop- in fact she does reply very kindly every six months or so. she thinks im crazy. oh my god. she thinks im insane. she might be right. jesus christ
i cant believe its over